Blinded, or heavily concerned about the destructive effects of fatherlessness in the United States; President Barack H. Obama – perhaps because of misinformation or his ignorance on this matter – is taking a very dangerous stand against U.S. Fathers. He is using the same old fearful speech that only alienates American Fathers and; by the same token, he is casting a shadow of bad reputation on his own dad. However, as the President of the United States, a legislator, and an intelligent man; he also holds the key to destroy institutionalized American fatherlessness forever in his country – if he wants.
Consequently, it becomes more urgent that all concerned families and fatherhood organizations; and all oppressed fathers to keep on the light, and to spread the truth about fatherhood.
We can help President Barack H Obama to understand that:
- Good responsible Fathers are frightened by the same old rhetoric that he and other political leaders are treacherously using;
- Fathers are not the enemy. They are the solution.
- Family court judges with their confederated watchdogs and with the complicity of duped single mothers are systematically and viciously orchestrating the abandonment by the fathers with falsehood and coercion.
I encourage you and all concerned organizations and U.S. citizens to contact President Barack H Obama directly by phone, fax, email, mail or in person – if possible – to urge him to take the lead in the restoration of American Fathers’ dignity before they can confidently return to their children to raise young men and young women who will have the capacity to bring prosperity back in the United States.
As a symbolic gesture of his commitment, let’s urge him to proclaim this Fourth of July 2009 the day of the liberation of the United States from the yokes of institutionalized fatherlessness by declaring it a day of prayers with reasonable and liberal visitation rights for all fathers and their children who are denied access to each other because of a disgraceful judge’s court order.
Read a copy of my “Open Letter to President Barack H Obama” on this matter – sent to several partner organizations for immediate release – for your consideration.
In our community of nations, we have learned the hard way that when one nation falls, we all suffer. Incidentally, when one nation rises up, we all benefit.
The restoration of U.S. Fathers’ confidence is a proven good investment in their children and in the future of nations. Political leaders must abide by that principle.
Open Letter to President Barack H Obama
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
RE: Fatherlessness in United States
Dear Mr. President Barack Obama,
I take the liberty to write you this letter because I sense your genuine and sincere desire to do something positive about fatherlessness in the United States. Furthermore, today you have the authority to do it. You lived with the problem, and you can see it; unfortunately, in at least two occasions you dangerously failed to define it properly.
Last year, on June 15, 2008 in Chicago at your Father’s Day speech, you offended the fathers by wrongfully accusing them of abandoning their own children. Your speech only alienated American fathers who are already the victims of falsehood.
This year, your Father’s Day speech again painted fathers with the same blames and falsehood that only created more fear in the heart of good responsible fathers. Worst of all, this year you put it totally backwards. I do not know of any place or time where communities ever supported or “counseled fathers”. Where do you get that from? On the contrary, throughout times and history; men, husbands and fathers bravely stood up and endured sacrifices to provide, to protect and to empower their wives, their children and their communities. This is the way it is in any other country. And; this is the way it has always been here before the United States was led by the last five consecutive presidents who have all been deprived of the counsel of their own fathers.
Like the majority of the children in this country, you are just a victim who may still carry the scars of the pains and sufferings of American fatherlessness. I admire your honesty about it and your sincerity for wanting to address this problem. But, you may not even have scratched the surface. Try to bring to the discussion the real victims:
- The oppressed fathers who are forbidden to approach their own children and;
- Their abused children whose access to their own dads has been denied by family courts judges.
I believe you have no idea how many American fathers would love to baby-sit their own children or to publicly display their affections for them just like you do with your own. In addition, they would also love to provide, to protect and to counsel them if their legitimate rights were not oppressed.
I believe you have no idea how many American children would love to have their own dad cheer for them on the athletic fields, for their good report cards or at the concert recitals. Like you were, they silently bear all the emotionally pains and sufferings because they have no one to turn to. And, they may carry the emotional and psychological scars with them for the rest of their lives.
The only difference between these oppressed absentee fathers and you, is a disgraceful judge decree that denied their rights and privileges to approach their own children and to be involved in their lives.
The only difference between their abused children and yours is an abusive single mother who is one of the watchdogs of the institutionalized American fatherlessness.
Your fatherhood speeches are politically correct because like many others, they acclaim the single mothers with flattery; they condemn the oppressed fathers with falsehood; and they victimize the fatherless children so that the US government can forge justifications to come to their rescue with social welfare programs that are counterproductive; and exorbitant loans. But, if we want to be honest with ourselves, we must admit that there is a huge problem with that rhetoric. It fails our children, it fails this generation; and it also fails this nation with the worst plaguing moral, economic and leadership crisis ever recorded in the history of the land.
If you want the oppressed fathers to return to their children, the U.S. government must first withdraw itself from our homes and from competing on the roles of the fathers. You inherit a political culture that has created every imaginable and arbitrary program that undermines the roles of the fathers in their families. Your White House even has a program for our wives and for our daughters. What do you want the American fathers to come back to their homes to do then? If you really want fathers to come back to their homes then, get out of the way!
Fathers did not create the problem. Your predecessor presidents created it when they sent fathers to die in foreign wars. And then, to those who came back they fail to provide the support they need to take care of their wives and children. This is how we got into this problem in the first place; and then it escalated exponentially until today when it is out of proportion – with all its fruits. When you are making your decisions to declare new foreign wars or to expand the existing ones, account for additional fatherless children among the casualties.
Institutionalized American fatherlessness is the weapon of mass destruction that the US government is so desperately looking for elsewhere. It is here on U.S. soil. It has a location: the family courts. The perpetrators are vicious judges and their greedy watchdogs. The victims are the abused fatherless children and their oppressed good responsible fathers who you have not yet brought to the discussion circle.
If it was not for the grace of God and His Mighty Hands, I would know the fate of your dad and my children would unfortunately grow up fatherless – just like you were and many other good kids. But, not every oppressed father and his abused children are blessed like us. I am encouraging all the brave purposeful fathers to join the war against fatherlessness, to withstand the adversities directed toward them and their children courageously; and to fight the good fight for their children, for themselves and for this country. You can be a blessing for them!
It seems that you know, and you care. Today, you are the smartest man in the room with the expertise and the authority to dismantle the American fatherlessness factory. The solution is not in flattery to the single mothers, nor in false compassion to the abused children and not in the blaming of their oppressed fathers. Corrupt judges in family courts of your nation are creating fatherless children faster and in numbers that exceed what World War I & II combined have produced.
American children do not care about your “Council on Women and Girls” nor do they care about another version of the “No Child Left Behind Act”, and not in any buildings and flags proclamation business. How American children and fathers will be able “to express their love, respect, and admiration” to each other when a vicious judge’s decree denied them access to each other. Your proclamation then is as good as an empty speech because it left behind and it is inapplicable to more than half of the U.S. population. American children and their good responsible fathers want the freedom to access each other without the interferences of vicious judges and their greedy watchdogs.
American fathers and their children would love to see the changes that you promised. But, they despise the same old rhetoric of falsehood here, flattery there and victimization all over to fabricate fictitious heroes. This old rhetoric frightens good responsible dads – like me. It is the root of the institutionalized American fatherlessness. And, the fruit of it is the worst plaguing moral, economic and leadership crisis ever recorded in American history. And, the American people are eating it right now!
For this reason also, U.S. foreign policies have and will utterly fail.
Honestly, freeing the oppressed fathers and their abused children from the yokes of the institutionalized American fatherlessness is an enterprise of titanic proportion. Like the emancipation of slavery and the advancement of the civil rights movement; the dismantlement of US fatherlessness is a task reserved for the fearless and the braves.
If you can, then I am sure that the oppressed fathers will be more than happy to return to their homes with their dignity to raise courageous young men and young women who will contribute to bring prosperity back into the land. And, you will have your place in history among the titans.
If you can not, then it would be wiser to “set a guard, over your mouth; and keep watch over the door of your lips” with respect to fatherhood. Because, your love for your own children and your convictions as a father have not yet been tried by the adversities and the circumstances that the fathers who you wrongfully accused have gone through.
The truth is what the reality is. Do not confuse my truthfulness with my respect for you as the President of the country where I temporarily reside. I would not do anyone a favor if I had to use flattery words to seduce you.
I urge you to proclaim this 4th of July 2009 the day of Liberation of this country from the yokes of institutionalized fatherlessness by declaring this day a day of prayers with reasonable and liberal visitation rights for all good responsible fathers and their abused children who are denied access to each other because of a disgraceful judge’s order. You will see how many honest little and big smiles you will have. You will know that these fathers who are falsely accused of abandoning their own children are no more than good responsible dads who are frightened by fearful speeches of political leaders and by the monstrous U.S. fatherlessness institution. This bold decision would be a symbolic gesture of yours to the terrified fathers and their abused and frightened children that they have to fear no more!
You have the opportunity to be a true hero!
You can be a blessing to them!
With truthfulness, sincerity
and with much respect,
/s/ Gaspard Lafalaise Jr
Let me be the first to say “Happy Father’s Day” to all of the Fathers in the Unites States and in Haiti and those who I met in school, at work or elsewhere.
As Fathers, we have today a dozen billions of good reasons to celebrate and also cause to think about our roles as Father – and consequently as Husband too.
I arrived – from Haiti – in the United States when the country was still perceived as the most economically and military powerful country in the world. Today, the whole world and I are very sad to witness the free fall of a nation crippled by three plagues: a moral crisis, an economic crisis and a leadership crisis. Worst of all, the United States are dragging with them several nations who have put their trust in them. This misfortune did not come by accident. In fact, it was clearly predicted several decades ago by the Bible, and many contemporary thinkers and the like.
On Father’s Day, we should not be thinking about the world problems or the US problems. We should rather take this day to cherish our children in our own caring loving special way. However, the thoughts of what kind of world we are shaping today for our children for tomorrow just can not get out of my mind.
When our first child came out of her mother’s womb, we acquire the best crib that we can afford to welcome him. I gave up promising education and business opportunities to raise my son. My brother purchased a larger house. My cousin hired a stay-home nanny for the baby. My colleague surprised his wife with a larger car before the baby was born. Is that it? What about tomorrow when they leave our umbrella to meet the real world and ready to make decisions that will change our very lives and the lives of other generations to come? Should not we fathers – at least – “preserve” the good stuff that we inherit from our own Dad?
I’ve decided to publish the second part of my thoughts on Father’s Day today on the following Monday after father’s day because I figured, thinking these things on Father’s Day is not a good idea and might require another day on its own. While, we are at it; if I ever occupy the adequate political position, I think I will push for a new law to decree a special holiday just for fathers: maintaining “Father’s Day” on a Sunday to enjoy and cherish our children and wife and; another legal holiday the following Monday that I would call something like “Brave Purposeful Father’s Day” – so that while our children are at school, Fathers can be at peace (and no work) to reflect on their roles as fathers.
This idea may seem like a joke, a dream or a wishful thinking. But, when you look back at the last quarter of century of the history of a country like the United States … and now with an ever rapidly increasing national debt of $ 11,342,734,351,973.14 as of June 18, 2009 … (I just can not finish the sentence – chif sa-yo banm tèt vire!). That’s just the poorest country in the world!
It would require every US citizen to add up another $37,000 unto their existing personal debts to pay off their national debt.
Despite this fact, when I listen to the political decisions that are being made every day in the US, I feel like the US government is acting like a “shopaholic woman” who knows that her “sugar daddy” will always be there to bail her out.
Instead of minding their own business at home, where the problem is, they are getting into everybody else affairs and touring the world like Hollywood celebrities.
As a citizen you may say “That’s noting, I can pay my share in one year”. But, hold on. How many people around you will not be able to afford their share? You may have to pickup their load too.
As a father, this is how this staggering number translates into. More taxes. Some more taxes. And again more taxes. Less; and lesser; and far lesser for you and your family to send your children to school, to pay for health care, … and less for your nursing home expenses, … and negatively something for your children inheritance – unless you have the courage to add into your will that it is ok to just burn you in the backyard as soon and as quietly as possible. Who else do you think is the “sugar daddy”? China? Japan? The foreign oil exporters? Or those who just said “no more!”
Each of us may feel more comfortable with one answer or another, but the truth is what the reality is. And the reality is:
“The borrower is slave to the lender. When you are in debt to another, you enter into a slave/master relationship with the creditor.”
Think about that next time you sing or hear
“O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave”.
I say that in the hope that we the brave and purposeful fathers can wake up and ask:
“What have we done?”
“Where are our children?”
“What are we doing?”
Theses three questions will make sense to a purposeful and brave father only after observing with me with deep sadness that our last three US President did not have a healthy relationship with their own father.
In fact two of them, presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama did not know their father at all. Both presidents George Herbert W. and George W. Bush were sent far away from their respective father at a very young age for out of state schooling. Therefore, like presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, they were both deprived of the instructions of their respective father.
Furthermore, President Ronald Reagan [1981-1989] left his father’s umbrella at twenty-one years of age to pursue a traveling actor career before he became president of the United States in 1981. Exactly about two years after he began to lead the nation – as commander-in-chief – trouble with the US national debt started.
We always thought that United States is a fatherless nation because our US governments consistently rejected the values of the forefathers of the land and because of the ignorant US Judges who are viciously denying the children access to their fathers. I think that there is worst to come after more than a quarter of century with five consecutive US presidents who were all deprived of the instructions of their own fathers.
When you take my observations and add it to this famous quote from George Herbert [1593-1633] who stated:
“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters”,
it all make sense! Doesn’t it?
“I think the problem of the United States is fatherlessness; and I think the only solution is with us – Fathers.”
“If we claim our children back to provide, to protect and to instruct them, then I am certain that we can make another Toussaint Louverture or Abraham Lincoln: a man of convictions, of courage and strength; a man of fortitude who can set his mind on a national problem, withstand adversities and encounter victory. Then and only then, Father’s Day will be happier!“
“Fathers, join the war for our children and for our nation.”
Otherwise, do not complaint when you and your children join the rank of the losers – and of the slaves.
In high school, one of my favorite books was “Le Prix de l’excellence” – In Search of Excellence, by Thomas Peters and Robert Waterman. The book came back to my conscious mind while I was watching “Quantum of Solace | 007” – which literally would mean ‘price of peace’. The movie and the book may not have anything to do with each other, but, my intellect associated them and I conclude that “There is a price to pay for everything”.
More you value something, more it will cost you: “The price must be paid”.
When a parent says “I love my children very much”, the obvious question is “How much are you willing to pay to protect them?” Like peace, children have a price too. Obviously, many will quickly respond that children are priceless. That’s what I thought too – until recently. This answer is only emotional and – forgive me please – only mental laziness dictates that.
The reality is that children have a price: it’s the price that a parent is willing to pay to protect them from their enemies. “The price must be paid!”
Let’s say that you are a father and you love your kids very much. To a father’s eyes, his children are “priceless”. I do not doubt that is true for every father I know – even those fathers that are kept away from their children by a US judge’s court order. A father would work hard to raise his children and see them prosper spiritually and materially and even better than he does. The children love, respect and obey him. You would think that’s it! Right? Well, that would be correct until jealousy and envy – personalized in real people around us – reveal themselves. Most people tend to use these two words interchangeably, but I recently learned the difference.
Jealousy is a human emotion or spirit that manifests when a person does not want someone else to have or to enjoy what he or she has. While envy is a human emotion or spirit that manifests when a person does not want someone else to have or enjoy what the other person already has. It is difficult to seize the full meaning of each word until you invest some time to research them. Either jealousy or envy can manifest as a raging fire that is out of control of the host and will destroy anything on its path – that is not protected of course. People who are under the power of either one are destructive people. A coach told me that,
“Envy withers at another’s joy, and hates that excellence it cannot reach”.
“Jealousy is the tribute that the mediocrity pays the genius”.
I love that!
I have also learned that to anyone who inspires to leadership, or excellence; there is always a price to pay for being a leader. Or let’s put it this way, there is always a penalty to pay for excellence in anything you do. The price must be paid. And this is true in any aspect of life: be it a leader at work, in other social group, at church and even at home in your own family. Can you believe that? It is true everywhere. Sooner or later, envy or jealousy – or both – will reveal itself in your midst. A musician who decides to be the best, there is a price for it. You can take an athlete who determines to excel, there is price for it. You take a father who determines to excel, there is price for it too. The price must be paid.
A man who gives himself to success and to excellence will sooner or later pay the penalty of primacy. If you don’t want to give up or give in to mediocrity, or be defeated by these two enemies, you must know how to fight your way to victory.
As fathers, what a great opportunity to teach our children how to meet “victory”! But, victory has a price and the price must be paid. Consequently, the price of victory is warfare – if you want to see your children prosper spiritually and materially. Let’s put it in a different way if you will:
“The flip side of victory is warfare, and the flip side of warfare is victory.”
Can we – fathers – escape that?
During my research, I learned that the U.S. government recently calculated the cost of raising children from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140. Several analysts break it down to about $8,900 a year, $742 a month, or $171 a week or $24 per day. Although, the report clearly specifies “cost” and not “price”, many refer to it deceptively as “The price of children”. However, I personally do not see how these ridicule figures will help anyone, the U.S. government or any purposeful parent. Children are not commodities, mine will never be. If you think otherwise, I think sooner or later you will find yourself being publicly ridiculed.
I would like to conclude that the price of children is victory; the price of victory is warfare. If we as fathers do not take this opportunity to teach our children “The Rules of engagement” – the art of strategies and tactics in warfare; who will? Who will inspire their convictions, teach them courage, help them build their strength of character and introduce them to ‘victory’? If we don’t, then our society will continue to be saturated with political cowards, corrupted judges, greedy corporate officers and our families will be utterly broken.
Since raging war for our children is a father’s duty – after all their protection is part of our tasks description; victory is an honor.
Preemptive or defensive, I am all for it!
Bring it on!
I took some time off my regular activities to re-start blogging on a more regular basis. In my web log, you will find my personal preferences and opinions, critical thinking, purpose, vision, and desires. My web blog is not a approval-seeking activity. Rather, it is a mean to communicate with my family, my friends, partners and other people I have an existing relationship with. They value or find some interest in my personal preferences, opinions, critical thinking, purpose, vision and desires. They are mine and may not represent those of family, friends, children, maid-servants or other persons or institutions that I may have some affiliations or relationship with. Gaspard Lafalaise Jr’s web log is a reference point for them. It is easy to refer people to an entry in my blog than to repeat or email the same thing all over again to everyone. Finally, my coach and mentors can check my personal progress as I apply their guidance and wisdom they teach me.
Do not put the cart before the horses. Do not use the content of my web log and think that you know me. It is not my self-biography. I intend to live a quiet, pure, transparent and godly life. But, I will not put my personal life on the Internet. Do not deceive yourself. If you know personally, my web log will be more valuable to you and you may benefit better from it.
My readers’ comments are very welcome. I hope yours will enlighten me and other readers or followers. However, remember that as human sometimes, we are too emotionally reactors. Because it hurts at first does not mean it is necessarily bad. And because it seduces you at first does not mean that it is necessarily good. When I read someone else blog entry that seduces or infuriates me, I print or email it first to myself. After a while, when the smoke clears and I can see beyond my personal feelings, I am more able to find the true and share my respectful comments. Those who seek greatness rarely find it. Those who seek characters, integrity, wisdom and the true somehow find greatness as well. Feel free to challenge my thinking here or when we meet in the hope to help each other and the rest of the World to become greater.
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Lage aveti pa touye kokobe!
Most of all, let’s have fun while we are trying to understand the past, enjoy the present and harness the future in the limits that God permits.
Welcome to my web log!
Gaspard Lafalaise Jr.