Posts Tagged ‘fathers’


L'Amour Paternel

L'Amour Paternel

In high school, one of my favorite books was “Le Prix de l’excellence” – In Search of Excellence, by Thomas Peters and Robert Waterman. The book came back to my conscious mind while I was watching “Quantum of Solace | 007” – which literally would mean ‘price of peace’. The movie and the book may not have anything to do with each other, but, my intellect associated them and I conclude that “There is a price to pay for everything”.

More you value something, more it will cost you:  “The price must be paid”.

When a parent says  “I love my children very much”,  the obvious question is  “How much are you willing to pay to protect them?”  Like peace, children have a price too.   Obviously, many will quickly respond that children are priceless. That’s what I thought too – until recently.  This answer is only emotional and – forgive me please – only mental laziness dictates that. 

 The reality is that children have a price:  it’s the price that a parent is willing to pay to protect them from their enemies.  “The price must be paid!”

"Instead, I'm offering this money as a reward on your head. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter"

"Instead, I'm offering this money as a reward on your head. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter"

Let’s say that you are a father and you love your kids very much. To a father’s eyes, his children are “priceless”. I do not doubt that is true for every father I know – even those fathers that are kept away from their children by a US judge’s court order.  A father would work hard to raise his children and see them prosper spiritually and materially and even better than he does.  The children love, respect and obey him.  You would think that’s it! Right? Well, that would be correct until jealousy and envy – personalized in real people around us – reveal themselves.  Most people tend to use these two words interchangeably, but I recently learned the difference.

Jealousy is a human emotion or spirit that manifests when a person does not want someone else to have or to enjoy what he or she has.  While envy is a human emotion or spirit that manifests when a person does not want someone else to have or enjoy what the other person already has.  It is difficult to seize the full meaning of each word until you invest some time to research them.  Either jealousy or envy can manifest as a raging fire that is out of control of the host and will destroy anything on its path – that is not protected of course.  People who are under the power of either one are destructive people.  A coach told me that,

Envy withers at another’s joy, and hates that excellence it cannot reach”.

 “Jealousy is the tribute that the mediocrity pays the genius”.

I love that!

 I have also learned that to anyone who inspires to leadership, or excellence;  there is always a price to pay for being a leader.  Or let’s put it this way, there is always a penalty to pay for excellence in anything you do.  The price must be paid.  And this is true in any aspect of life:  be it a leader at work, in other social group, at church and even at home in your own family.  Can you believe that? It is true everywhere.  Sooner or later, envy or jealousy – or both – will reveal itself in your midst.  A musician who decides to be the best, there is a price for it.  You can take an athlete who determines to excel, there is price for it.  You take a father who determines to excel, there is price for it too.  The price must be paid.

A man who gives himself to success and to excellence will sooner or later pay the penalty of primacy.  If you don’t want to give up or give in to mediocrity, or be defeated by these two enemies,  you must know how to fight your way to victory.

The Lion King 1994 | Dad & son|

The Lion King 1994 | Dad & son|

As fathers, what a great opportunity to teach our children how to meet “victory”! But, victory has a price and the price must be paid.  Consequently, the price of victory is warfare – if you want to see your children prosper spiritually and materially.  Let’s put it in a different way if you will:

 “The flip side of victory is warfare, and the flip side of warfare is victory.”

 Can we – fathers – escape that?

During my research, I learned that the U.S. government recently calculated the cost of raising children from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140. Several analysts break it down to about $8,900 a year, $742 a month, or $171 a week or $24 per day.  Although, the report clearly specifies “cost” and not “price”, many refer to it deceptively as “The price of children”.  However, I personally do not see how these ridicule figures will help anyone, the U.S. government or any purposeful parent.  Children are not commodities, mine will never be.   If you think otherwise, I think sooner or later you will find yourself being publicly ridiculed.

I would like to conclude that the price of children is victory; the price of victory is warfare. If we as fathers do not take this opportunity to teach our children “The Rules of engagement” – the art of strategies and tactics in warfare; who will?  Who will inspire their convictions, teach them courage, help them build their strength of character and introduce them to ‘victory’?  If we don’t, then our society will continue to be saturated with political cowards, corrupted judges, greedy corporate officers and our families will be utterly broken. 

Since raging war for our children is a father’s duty – after all their protection is part of our tasks description; victory is an honor.

Preemptive or defensive, I am all for it!

Bring it on!